I'm fighting to bring awareness of the children who have been stolen by the state and the life long effects that come hand in hand with their suffering. I am fighting to show victims of domestic violence that they are strong enough to fight back.
It was the beginning, I’m just a mum, I got that honour in 2011 when I gave birth to my son, who in his own right is my miracle baby. The joy the love the fierce protection i had never felt until I met him.
I got told at 15 that I couldn’t have kids due to pcos. They advised that if I wanted to have kids I would have to try starting early. Everything was great, I loved being a mum, and I had just left my partner of 8 years whom wasn’t a good man by anyone’s standards.
So I clung to my son a set out to do right by him and protect him. As his daddy wasn’t the best role model to have and I knew what he was capable of, I put my son’s safety first.
Fast forward to my son being 3 years 6 months I gave birth to my daughter, through a different relationship. Again I walked hook line and sinker into another toxic relationship, which would be the catalyst of the situation to come.
The health visitor witnessed my daughters daddy shouting at me and my daughter not flinching, then I was in turn referred to the fit team.
I was told that Social services would get me family support and guidance. What they really meant was “we will destroy you, take your kids, and accuse you of being the most hostile, dishonest, and acrimonious”. They lie fabricate and commit perjury, I only realised the extent of it all when my son was placed with my 1st abuser and his wife. I had minimal contact and deemed high risk to even have a prohibited steps order slapped on me in court, but my son wasn’t safe. I started seeing marks on him which I photographed and catalogued. These were sweat under the carpet by social services and the police.
Three times I went to the police and uncountable times to social services with the evidence that I had, yet I was destroyed. I wasn’t even allowed to protect my baby, I was begging for someone to help and I was forced to tell my only son that I couldn’t protect him. The state was using my evidence against me, I told him to tell anyone who would listen that he needed help and mummy couldn’t help him anymore. No one should have to tell their kids that they can’t protect them, but this is exactly the position that social services and the police put me in.
So I lost my son in June 2015, I only got over nights in March 2018. I was accused of being a liar a drug dealer a prostitute and a terrorist, all these allegations with out any proof, all unfounded were accepted by social services. It didn’t matter what I said or did, it was wrong. I had many allegations thrown at me over the 5 year period. To even go as far as to make up an overdose for me.
Social Services did that.
I had to get letters from doctors, psychiatrist and hospitals to prove that these allegations were untrue. This was insure that that residence that I had with my daughter, my youngest, would be jeopardised, as the father of my daughter he decided he wanted to take my daughter off me due to the friendship he had with my son’s father. Social services backed him.
He had a non molestation order on him and was under investigation for threatening my life, his girlfriend at the time had failed a drug test through the court, I of course had serious concerns which were never addressed. Social services went behind mine and the daddy’s backs and started looking for foster families, she was child 39 to be going forward for foster care, not even listed by name.
Not one criteria was met for the threshold to remove my children, this was unlawfully done, just like they did with my son. I never stop fighting, I knew I was right, I knew I was telling the truth. My son was being abused.
I changed solicitors 4 times before I found the right one, she apologised to me for the law failing me and we set to work. The process is now called the Saranne method which is now used with mums in similar circumstances.
First I had to put my son to the back of my mind. That killed me. I had to secure my baby girl as she was now at more risk than her big brother.
On the 2nd November 2017 I got my daughter back under fully residency. This was the start of the building blocks to get my son back. In May 2018 my world changed, I got told that my son was moving 40 miles away. I had not been warned by social services or the father, my son continued to come to contact with marks and bruises and he was even being sent to school with serous back eyes.
Knowing the cycle from this particular abuser I knew what my son was heading for with his father, they had got away from so much by social, the police and courts, he didn’t care where he left marks anymore, he made no effort to hide what he was doing to my child. I had broke seeing this, and again begged my son to tell anyone else and not just me, I begged with him to reach out with my full support. Denver the 2 days before he was due to be moved he opened up to his councillor.
I was in town when I got the call that made my world crumble, it’s weird hearing someone else tell you son is being abused, especially when we had been screaming for years for anyone to listen to my son. He was finally being heard by someone. It’s different, it’s so different, it wasn’t something we were imagining, it was real.
This was the domino effect, I got a call from a social worker to say they were doing a welfare check, this was to be the first one ever. I later got a call to see if I was home and if they could bring my son Denver home to me.
At this stage I only just got over nights from social services and now he was on his way home, I was excited, happy, elated and complete.
But I was also scared confused and angry. What had they done to my baby?! The worst was yet to come.
I was told noting my son was in clothes that were too small for him and dirty. I was told that this was only temporary until “all this was sorted” it was only through the courts were I found bits and spices of information. There were no doors in the house, so my son had no privacy. Denver when asked if he felt safe, he replied NO!
He dad’s wife then grabbed him causing him to have a melt down due to his ASD (autism) All of this was horrific for me to hear. I was then give a 3/4 split as recommended by the courts.
This wen t well until August when something happened to my son which destroyed us as a family. My son made a disclosure to me after contact from his dad. What my son told me will haunt me to my last day. It is currently under investigation so I will update what I can when I am allowed.
I was then told to hold onto Denver until a safe guard was in place. Which was the father came up to his mums to stay for his contact with his son, he then told social services that if he didn’t go back his married would be over. This was allowed, he went back to his wife and had to fully supervise my son at all times. I then received a concerning call from the new social worker, that the wife had said if my son was to make any more accusations that she would throw my son out onto the streets.
More to come….
If I could go back in time I would Tell myself to write everything down, keep a diary of everything, and don’t ever cut off your family and friends. You will be pushed and feel like the world is against you. But you’re family love you unconditionally.
“Only 3 things can be hidden for so long, The sun, The moon, and The truth”